Considering that in my pervious life I was a musician, classically trained and adept at sight-reading music often referred to in professional circles as "fly shit on a lightbulb", tell me why my kids listen to either Justin "Bleeter" or rap? What spastic gene did I pass on that would cause this aberration? Was it wearing nylon underwear, the microwave, watching too much color TV? What caused at least one of my "lads" to shout "yo yo yo boyz, lets make a baybeee, aaaight" as he deplaned??
I've said on more than one occasion that the words Justin Bleeter and music should never, ever, EVER be used in the same sentence and I stand by that statement but I also face the eternal quadrangle of puzzlement in trying to figure out what it is about white, middle class very suburban and very soft kids (especially boys for some reason) that causes them to gravitate towards rap. I don't really mind because it's a source of great amusement to me to see these "gangstas" driving around in their Honda Civics with all the suspension removed so they scrape on every bump and piece of squirrel shit in the road. Rolling on 95 inch rims....with spinners of course, three million watts of audio...well, bass to be precise... popping every window seal in the vehicle whilst donning the obligatory sideways baseball cap and Mr. T starter kit jewelry ensemble!
Imagine just for a second a highly advanced form of extra terrestrial life visiting earth for the very first time and coming across this noble example of the human genome.
E.T - "We come to this planet earth as emissaries from galaxies far away, a millennia of knowledge to impart upon you for the betterment of all mankind"
Vanilla Slice - "Yo, f**k that shit man, that flyfly spaceship would kick with some lo-pro dubs, ground effects kit and some siiiiiick 15's kicking' da bass yo!"
What do you think....great first impression or what?
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